infected emo now.. and happy birthday seth <3

robert, I don't know what do you think about me, what's your feeling towards me, and what's my existence for in your life. I'm only one of your many friends and lovers in your great life, right?

am I only the one who think our relationship is not only an /online/ like chiyu's player told me but a relationship which only separated because of the distance? you have been inside my life 120%. you're my everything. but as got that statement from chiyu (see the previous post), I really get down ._________. maybe I'm nothing in your life. well yeah, maybe I get the status, your girlfriend, but no more.. maybe?

I got so many questions in my head right now..
have you ever thought to visit me someday? chiyu's words really get me down about it now.. really.. I know and care you can't afford it but.. *sighs* sorry, I'm a spoiled and bad girlfriend..
did you think our relationship is only a play like our roleplay accounts? only /A/ long distance online relationship that you shouldn't think about it too much not like I do?
do you feel like, love, or extremely love to me? due to a guy who has an online girlfriend told me that he didn't love his girlfriend but only like, meanwhile he still always says love to his girl because it's his responsibility makes me really get down over and over
what's my differentness with your others lovers? you can't touch me right? so why do you still wanna be with someone that you never meet and never can touch instead you have a lot of guys and chicks in there waiting for your love and ready to give their love and body more than I could..

..I don't have any confident now..

no, I don't mean I don't have any confident to be with you now or I want to break up with you, no. I overly love you, I really really do. but, I can't get those questions (and always gets multiply everytime) away from my mind



*sighs*

I really wish you could be here.. we haven't talked for about a week. so I just could read our conversation which I saved and smiled alone. not trying to be the pathetic one *nods*. maybe I just don't have any love or relationship experience before so it makes me like this. so that's why, I'm sorry.. and, I do really love you. I really do. I do!! ;__;


and today is seth's birthday, happy birthday dude <3 and simon cowell is hawt seth!! don't you know it? lol

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I miss you a lot ♥